17. I Spy With My Little Eye... A Flaw...

It was just another evening where I have just finished my dinner and I was just lazing around in the living room. My 4 year old cousin was watching television, and at one instance she flipped over to Playhouse Disney. Bored, I decided to see what's on screen at that time.

The scenario was a wicked spider trying to tempt 3 flies into coming into her web (well, in real life it's just a means of going up the food chain, and the spider is then deemed innocent, but let's just assume that the spider is the bad character here.) For easy reference, there were 2 girl flies (coz they were acted by girls in costumes) and a boy fly.

The scene went like this (as far as I can accurately remember it):

Spider: (Turns on seduction tone) Hey there my pretties, why don't you come over and join me at my web?

Girl Fly 1: Don't get too close to the web, you'll get trapped.

Spider: Oh, but I have lots of sweeties! I made sticky cookies, and sticky cake and (takes a huge whiff) Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! (With emphasis) Sticky Pie!

Boy Fly: Ooo, that sounds great! Maybe I'll just have a little bit o..

Girl Fly 2: No! Don't go! She's trying to trick you!

Spider: Oh but am I? Take a look at this sticky pie. Doesn't it look absolutely delicious?

Boy Fly: Oh all right, I'll have some sticky pie then. (Flies towards the spider)

Girl Flies: Hey stop! (Follows the boy fly in an attempt to stop him)


But...it was too late.


Spider: (Cackling) Muahahaha, I've got you my little pretties! I shall eat you all later. Be right back!

Narrator: Uh oh! Looks like the flies are in a sticky situation! If they are to get out of the spider's web, they need to come up with a plan

Girl Fly 1: We need to come up with a plan (Repeating the obvious, thank you). Do you guys have any ideas?

Girl Fly 2: Hm...the spider web is sticky right? Perhaps...we need something stickier. But what do we have that is very sticky?

Boy fly: Maybe...we can use these pieces of marshmallows. They are kinda sticky. It might just work.

Girl fly 1: It's worth a shot. Go for it.


Boy fly: Oh Spiderrrrrrrr!!!!! I have a surprise for you!!!

Spider: Oooooh, I LOVE surprises! What is it?

Boy fly: It's a marshmallow! Here, try it!

Spider: (Takes and consumes it) Mmm... it's so tasty... and sweet... and so sticky... and... and... (begins to struggle) Nooooo!! I'm stuck!

Girl fly 1: It worked! We did it! Now let’s get out of here!

The story concluded by the flies being free. After that skit, they took off their costumes and proceeded with some singing.

I picked on what I had just seen a few minutes ago, and came up with some arguments about the logic regarding that skit.

1. Spider webs should be sticker than marshmallows.

Imagine that if you put a fly on top of a damp marshmallow (reason being a dry marshmallow isn’t sticky). The fly should be able to fly off, but if you put a fly on a spider web, it should be trapped, if not the spider web is useless, and the spider would die of hunger.

2. How did the flies manage to keep the marshmallows?

I’m not a fly specialist, but I do know that most flies aren’t pollinators, and they don’t have specialized pockets (also known as Scopa) to carry pollen around. And if the flies are pollinators, they wouldn’t be in contact with marshmallows. Okay, so I’ll give the benefit of doubt that some humans decide to have some marshmallows and accidentally dropped some or left some behind, and the scent managed to attract the flies. Even so, it’s not like the flies are able to keep marshmallows on themselves. I mean, they are not Doraemon, are they?

3. If the marshmallow is indeed sticky, how did the fly manage to pass it to the spider anyway?

Now this is indeed interesting. The marshmallows cannot be pollen sized (if not the spider can’t eat it), and it should be of certain stickiness in order to stick to the fly. And it’s not like that marshmallows are chewing gum that the spider should be ‘stuck’ anyway.

4. How did the flies manage to fly free after the spider consumed the marshmallow?

I’ve never heard of a magical marshmallow, nor have I heard (or logically reasoned) that a fly should be able to escape a spider web after being stuck on it (and with ease too!). Unless the spider web’s stickiness is fortified by enchantments or spells, and the marshmallow somehow weakened the state of the spider that the enchantments should somehow fail. But then again, I’ve never heard of flies carrying marshmallows, and spiders making sticky goodies for flies to eat…

I think I reason too much…but it is fun and humourous too to come up with such randomness at times…

11. How To Fail An Exam With Style

One guess where I extracted this from :P. Well, here's to all those who are facing (or will be) exams in the middle of the month. I'm not trying to imply that we should all go ahead and fail, just bring your sense of humour when things looks screwy ^_^, but I'm sure we're all capable enough to pull through the exams, eh?

Disclaimer: The following scenarios are only intended for humour. Any use of these scenarios are at the user's risk. Neither Haemoglobin nor The Globe shall be held responsible for any consequences arising from such events.

- Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “Oh gee, better get cracking,” and scribble furiously. Turn it in a few minutes early.

- Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!”

- Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor’s left nostril.

- Talk the entire way through the exam. Read the questions aloud and debate your answers with yourself aloud. If asked to stop, yell out sarcastically, “I’m so sure you can hear me thinking.” Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

- Bring cheerleaders.

- Walk in, get the exam, and sit down. About 5 minutes into the exam, loudly say to the instructor, “I don’t understand any of this. I’ve been to every lecture this semester! What’s the deal? And who are you? Where’s the regular guy?”

- Bring a video game. Play with the volume at max level.

- On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example, write “I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs.” Be creative.

- Run into the exam room looking around frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor and say “They’ve found me, I have to leave the country” and run off.

- Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out “Merry Christmas!” If you’re really daring, ask for another copy of the exam, saying you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

- Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

- Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

- Come down with a bad case of Tourette’s Syndrome during the exam.

Edit: Well, I did a Google on part of this article and the whole thing actually came from http://spider.georgetowncollege.edu/georgetonian/050405/features1.html. I shall not bother editing and posting them up here, so just head on there and read the other 2/3 there. Most of the points there may not be relevant to failing, so I didn't bother to filter any of them away.

10. Living In A Fish - How Jonah Did It

Yet another blibical debate that sprouted from the earlier Noah debate (ref. entry no.6), and this time it involved Jonah. I invited the scientific-minded debaters for some fun while I waited for DotA (which consisted of Ter and Yang and me), but I had to leave halfway to get to Safeway before midnight in order to get the roast chicken at cheap prices ($4 for a whole roast chicken, thats like 50% off I think). I bumped into an old secondary schoolmate of mine there - Sue Faye, and I got delayed doing a little update on what's going on and whereabout she was. Apparently she's lives like 10 minutes walk away from me. Melbourne is indeed a small place, and as my pastor said, "We chinese people even though we are seperated, we still get to meet each other eventually." I'm starting to think this is becoming true.

Anyway, back to the Jonah story. I came back from Safeway 40 minutes later and realized the discussion had 'ended' and our 'secretary' had the motivation to write a summary of what was discussed in the conversation. Since I missed half of it and I can't put head and tail of the whole story, I shall leech off once again from Felix's blog. Thanks again for your 'thesis' on our discussion.

Note: This discussion (and further discussions) does not show that we are trying to prove the Bible wrong. It is just that we are trying to recreate the possible situations due to our own interest. For those issues that may seem impossible to normal circumstances, we know that God has the power to make it possible. That is where our faith comes in.

9. 45 Ways To Annoy People

I was flipping through The Globe which is my weekly IH newspaper published by the residents (well, actually only 2 in charge, articles are generously written by anyone in IH) and I came across this article "45 ways to annoy people" which I find entertaining. So if anyone's stumped when it comes to annoying people, or just finding some new tricks since yours are getting older and older, this might help you out a bit (P.S. SekTeng, no.23 is especially for you :) Haha...)

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sensual message”.

3. Insist that your drive-through order is “to go”.

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip…”

5. If you have a glass eye, tap it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a “robot” voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will “swipe your grub.”

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17” paper, 99 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniff incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog “Dog”.

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”

16. Reply to everything someone says with “that what YOU think.”

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your “astronaut training.”

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for “violating your airspace.”

19. Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a “real hoot.”

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss.

23. Making beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a “spider person.”

26. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophecy.”

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more at any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a person’s every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Ask people what gender they are.

34. Sit in front of your yard pointing a hairdryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

35. Chew on pens that you’ve borrowed.

36. Wear a lot of cologne.

37. Invite lots of people to other peoples’ parties.

38. Sing along at the opera.

39. Mow your lawn with scissors.

40. At a golf tournament, chant “swing-batabatabata-suhwing-batter.”

41. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your imaginary friend.

42. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.

43. TYPE ONLY IN UPPER CASE.

44. Wear a cape that says “Magnificent One”

45. Not writing to The Globe!

6. Going Back In Time : Noah's Possible Situation

Noah - a character in the bible. The only sole survivor (well, his family too) of the Great Flood because God decided to wipe out the evil in the world by using one of the most essential molecules for sustaining life. Well, interestingly the conversation between me and Felix landed on this particular person because of 'adoption day'. For a detailed insight of our humorous conversation, my dear friend has already blogged about it, for which I shall not repeat myself to bore all of you who have already visited his site, so I shall just provide a link there.

Some of the questions raised are a bit unnecessary because we scientific-oriented people tend to find reasons and proofs to satisfy our curiosity. I mean, how can Noah who I think was a farmer before, became a professional shipbuilder, and do take note that where he was, the nearest sea / ocean (if there was) was far away enough not to worry about water transportation, what more an ark the length of one-and-a-half football fields, 25m wide and about 4 stories high. While some of the questions raised in our arguments were just out of lameness, it was interesting to have a healthy yet funny debate about the bible. We aren't professional theologists, and even if we are, I think most of the questions are not really the core issue of our faith. All I know is that even though things are so much more different compared to ages ago, God is always in control and able to provide in all circumstances. He acts through the most unusual, weird, and sometimes craziest situation, but in the end He has everything planned out right from the beginning.

Although my ‘adoption day’ went a bit screwy, the debate help lift up my spirits for the day. Thanks to all who participated. I still can’t believe that the giraffe I was aiming for went missing an hour later. Sigh…