11. How To Fail An Exam With Style

One guess where I extracted this from :P. Well, here's to all those who are facing (or will be) exams in the middle of the month. I'm not trying to imply that we should all go ahead and fail, just bring your sense of humour when things looks screwy ^_^, but I'm sure we're all capable enough to pull through the exams, eh?

Disclaimer: The following scenarios are only intended for humour. Any use of these scenarios are at the user's risk. Neither Haemoglobin nor The Globe shall be held responsible for any consequences arising from such events.

- Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “Oh gee, better get cracking,” and scribble furiously. Turn it in a few minutes early.

- Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!”

- Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor’s left nostril.

- Talk the entire way through the exam. Read the questions aloud and debate your answers with yourself aloud. If asked to stop, yell out sarcastically, “I’m so sure you can hear me thinking.” Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

- Bring cheerleaders.

- Walk in, get the exam, and sit down. About 5 minutes into the exam, loudly say to the instructor, “I don’t understand any of this. I’ve been to every lecture this semester! What’s the deal? And who are you? Where’s the regular guy?”

- Bring a video game. Play with the volume at max level.

- On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example, write “I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs.” Be creative.

- Run into the exam room looking around frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor and say “They’ve found me, I have to leave the country” and run off.

- Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out “Merry Christmas!” If you’re really daring, ask for another copy of the exam, saying you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

- Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

- Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

- Come down with a bad case of Tourette’s Syndrome during the exam.

Edit: Well, I did a Google on part of this article and the whole thing actually came from http://spider.georgetowncollege.edu/georgetonian/050405/features1.html. I shall not bother editing and posting them up here, so just head on there and read the other 2/3 there. Most of the points there may not be relevant to failing, so I didn't bother to filter any of them away.