9. 45 Ways To Annoy People

I was flipping through The Globe which is my weekly IH newspaper published by the residents (well, actually only 2 in charge, articles are generously written by anyone in IH) and I came across this article "45 ways to annoy people" which I find entertaining. So if anyone's stumped when it comes to annoying people, or just finding some new tricks since yours are getting older and older, this might help you out a bit (P.S. SekTeng, no.23 is especially for you :) Haha...)

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sensual message”.

3. Insist that your drive-through order is “to go”.

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip…”

5. If you have a glass eye, tap it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a “robot” voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will “swipe your grub.”

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17” paper, 99 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniff incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog “Dog”.

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”

16. Reply to everything someone says with “that what YOU think.”

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your “astronaut training.”

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for “violating your airspace.”

19. Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a “real hoot.”

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss.

23. Making beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a “spider person.”

26. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophecy.”

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more at any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a person’s every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Ask people what gender they are.

34. Sit in front of your yard pointing a hairdryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

35. Chew on pens that you’ve borrowed.

36. Wear a lot of cologne.

37. Invite lots of people to other peoples’ parties.

38. Sing along at the opera.

39. Mow your lawn with scissors.

40. At a golf tournament, chant “swing-batabatabata-suhwing-batter.”

41. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your imaginary friend.

42. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.

43. TYPE ONLY IN UPPER CASE.

44. Wear a cape that says “Magnificent One”

45. Not writing to The Globe!

8. A Tour Around IH

For those who still don't know, those who know roughly but still don't know, and those who know, IH is the abbreviation for International House, the place where I'm staying at. The residents consist of about 80% international student and 20% Australians. It's 5 mins away by walking and 1 tram stop away from MONASH Parkville University, which means I get the luxury of leaving for uni 5 mins later and get there on time, though I always leave when lectures start and arrive 5 minutes late. Such is the nature of this procrastinator. IH is about 15 mins walk away from Melbourne Uni, but that doesn't really concern me. So anyway here's a series of pictures that might give a slight idea of how IH is like (I said slight, don't get your hopes up).

Okay, so here we are at the main entrance of IH. Nothing special to say, really. The hallway leads to the common rooms, where the IHers can hang out and read the newspapers there available, and also leads to the dining room, games room, and TV room.

The Dimmick dining hall. The setting's been altered a little because there's an event called Café International which is a fund-raising event and one of the biggest events of IH calendar. Part of the proceeds goes to some organization which funds doctors to perform surgery for free in 3rd world countries (I think). As you can see, there's the High Table elevated right at the back and every Tuesday and Thursday, IHers have to wear their academic gowns and the Head, Associate Head, tutors and a few guests get to sit there and have free flow of alcohol and orange juice while we lowly peasants only get tap water. Yeah, just like a Harry Potter dinner, just that food doesn't pop up from plates and we don't normally get seconds.

The games room. Here we have a snooker table, a foosball table, and a dart board. This is ideal place for hardcore snooker and foosball players because the games here are free, which means you get to play as long as you want for free, but be considerate to others who want to have a go. Sadly, I'm not really into either game.

The TV room, where we have the basic channels and also Foxtel, which is like ASTRO back in Malaysia, just that it's more superior in the sense that it has way more channels. I remember spending a bit of my 2 week Commonwealth Games break here watching the 12-day The Simpsons marathon.

A portion of the Clunies block. The major problem of this building is how lame the walls are at blocking sound. One of my seniors said that if someone from the far end of the corridor was having sex and making loud noises, it can be heard at the other end. I've never gone into Clunies before, so I'm just quoting.

This new building which was build recently is referred to as 'New Building' because a name has not been agreed on for it yet. This building can be described as the 'IH Hilton' as my Associate Head puts it, and it's for those who are super active in the activities of IH. The way the room allocation works is by point system, where you gain points by getting involved in something and at the end of the year if you accumulate enough points, you have the possibility to move in to a better room.

This funny round building is called Scheps, the building where I'm staying. I live on ground floor, so it's convenient for me to get out of the building compared to those up in 3rd floor onwards. The dinky little building on the right is the gym and it's connected to Scheps.

My small room. Though it is small, I don't actually need that much space. I am quite comfortable in this small room. The only lame thing is that if I want to go to the bathroom, I got to walk down the corridor to the end and I have to bring my keys. The shower however, is right opposite my room.

My work desk, or sort of. I find it okay at the moment, but when I progress along the year and more stuff comes in, I might find space and issue. Now, a few questions you might be wondering:

Q: Wow, is that really his desk? So neat!
A: DUH, of course I clean it up before taking a picture. You don't go to a photo shoot and not groom yourself right? I'm not Voon Wei. I visited his house a few times and his desk pwns NEAT in the face. If you displace his book on a pile or whatever by just a few micrometers, he makes sure it's back to the way it was. Seriously, go ask him.

Q: What's that whole pile of clothing on the right?
A: That's just my clean laundry waiting to be ironed out during the weekend (or when I find the time) Anyone volunteering to help me out here?

Q: What are the few odd colourful lines on the water bottle?
A: I managed to sneak out a few labels from my pharmacy practice laboratory and for the fun of it I decided to stick it on my water bottle. They are: "Keep Out Of The Reach Of Children", the red diamond-shaped "Flammable Liquid", the yellow "This preparation is to aid sleep. Drowsiness may continue the following day. If affected do not drive or operate machinery. Avoid alcohol"and the orange "This medicine may affect mental alertness and/or co-ordination. If affected, do not drive a motor vehicle or operate machinery"


Well, that about concludes our tour. Any questions can be forwarded to me, and I will attend to you ASAP.

7. Doraemon Theme Song

I presume everyone’s familiar with the Japanese cartoon ‘Doraemon’? For those who have watched it on TV, or basically on video, you won’t really escape the theme song that is just too cute to resist (for most kids anyway). So I had a Japanese class tute in IH, and we learned the ‘Do-rae-me’ song in Japanese. After that, someone raised the question whether the teachers (who are residents of IH as well, and are still students) knew how to sing the theme song for Doraemon. So in the end, we learned it and the meaning of the lyrics.

こんなこといいなできたらいいな
Ko n na ko to i i na de ki ta ra i i na

あんなゆめこんなゆめいっぱいあるけど
An nn na yu me ko nn na yu me i ppa i a ru ke do

みんなみんなみんなかなえてくれる
Mi nn na mi nn na mi nn na, ka na e te ku re ru

ふしぎなポッケでかなえてくれる
Hu shi gi na po kke de ka na e te ku re ru

そらおじゆうにとびたいな
So ra o ji yu (u) ni to bi ta i na

はいタケコプター
Ha i ta ke kop u ta (a)

アンアンアン
a nn a nn a nn

とってもだいすきドラえもん
To tte mo da i su ki do ra e mo n

(Translation)
That thing is good, I want to do it
This dream, that dream, I have many of them but (cannot fulfill)
Everything (dream) is granted
With the miraculous pocket he grants (my dream)
I want to fly freely in the sky
Right! Bamboo Copter!
An An An (sound to make the song cute, does not have meaning)
I love Doraemon a lot

This is just the first part of the song, the rest of the song wasn’t brought up due to time constrains. It was fun knowing the meaning of the theme song of one of my past cartoons which I have left behind and moved on. I have to say, we had a fun time in the class trying to sing this song. Note that I still can’t read Hiragana well, neither can I construct a sentence well, and neither do I have any vocabulary. So, I’m still a noob at Japanese. Hey, at least I’m exploring the language, just as everyone else in the class is. Now this song is stuck to my head. Dangerous…

(Plays in head repeatedly: “アンアンアン　とってもだいすきドラえもん“)

6. Going Back In Time : Noah's Possible Situation

Noah - a character in the bible. The only sole survivor (well, his family too) of the Great Flood because God decided to wipe out the evil in the world by using one of the most essential molecules for sustaining life. Well, interestingly the conversation between me and Felix landed on this particular person because of 'adoption day'. For a detailed insight of our humorous conversation, my dear friend has already blogged about it, for which I shall not repeat myself to bore all of you who have already visited his site, so I shall just provide a link there.

Some of the questions raised are a bit unnecessary because we scientific-oriented people tend to find reasons and proofs to satisfy our curiosity. I mean, how can Noah who I think was a farmer before, became a professional shipbuilder, and do take note that where he was, the nearest sea / ocean (if there was) was far away enough not to worry about water transportation, what more an ark the length of one-and-a-half football fields, 25m wide and about 4 stories high. While some of the questions raised in our arguments were just out of lameness, it was interesting to have a healthy yet funny debate about the bible. We aren't professional theologists, and even if we are, I think most of the questions are not really the core issue of our faith. All I know is that even though things are so much more different compared to ages ago, God is always in control and able to provide in all circumstances. He acts through the most unusual, weird, and sometimes craziest situation, but in the end He has everything planned out right from the beginning.

Although my ‘adoption day’ went a bit screwy, the debate help lift up my spirits for the day. Thanks to all who participated. I still can’t believe that the giraffe I was aiming for went missing an hour later. Sigh…

5. 我生锈的华语(My oh-so-rusted chinese)

I was talking to Felix on MSN and suddenly he just popped some chinese characters into the conversation. Curious, I asked him how to insert those characters, and after much teaching, I finally get to put in chinese characters as well without any additional programs. So we spent about half an hour trying to converse in chinese while I was waiting for DotA. It was a bit hard trying to come up with the correct words as I browse through the remnants of my Chinese education after such a long time. My primary school experience wasn't really something that I would like to cherish, and I didn't really had the motivation to study (well, much less compared to now). Anyway the conversation between me and Felix can be described as 香蕉教香蕉华语, or banana teaching banana chinese. We weren't really particular about the grammatical issues of our sentences because we still banana-ish. Anyway, it was fun, and we should do it again next time ^_^.

谢谢你很有耐心教导我, 礼冠先生。下次再见吧! (Thanks for your patience in teaching me, Mr Felix. See ya next time!)

Sigh...I think I need my mum's services in chinese interpretation...

Speaking about chinese, my friend hypothesized about those from China with very heavy accent unable to pronounce words that end with something like "oos", e.g. juice because there isn't any chinese characters that ends with a sound like "oos". So if they want to say "Do you want to have some orange juice?" they would go something like "你要不要喝 olen jooo?". It's not really the fact that they can't pronounce it, but the way my friend presented it was quite funny. Okay, so the alternative would be 橙汁, but some people tend to rojak their sentences, so...

Just a hypothesis, just a hypothesis...

4. Freezing Easter, Touched Heart

Today I decided to follow William's friend to City Church instead of going to my usual church because he invited me, and I was also curious about how a service in City Church is different compared to their concerts. So about 4.15 p.m., I decided to head off to the tram stop and halfway towards my destination, I pondered whether I should go get my jacket because the weather was quite cold, but I thought that I could endure the cold. It wasn't that bad initially, but when the wind started to blow, it was like walking in a big refrigerator. I was wearing short sleeves at that time, and coupled with the fact that I just arrived from a tropical country a few months ago and adipose tissue isn't really a necessity there, I was shivering until I felt that my chest hurt because it kind of contracted and shook due to the cold. Well, at least I learnt my valuable lesson now in the autumn. It would be sad if it happened when it's near winter season.

The service there was quite good, although I was a bit lost because I didn't really know all the new songs from their album. They also had a weekly news presentation that informs the members about upcoming events. Personally I thought it was a good idea because it keeps people like me who don’t like reading the list of announcements printed in the bulletin updated. The speaker today was Matt Fielder, and as usual he kept the crowd interested with humour and as well as his expression which captured the attention of the audience. I was quite stirred by his sermon, but what really touched me was the altar ministry. As he was giving instructions to the people in the audience who wanted to accept Jesus into their lives, and even before he gave the green light to come forward, people were already making their way towards the front. Witnessing them so eager to receive this new person in their lives showed me that God's love wasn't just ordinary love; it was love that has touched millions, billions, in the past, present, and will touch in the future. A love that changes lives; empowering the weak, giving hope to the hopeless, a friend to the lonely, loving those unloved, turning drug addicts from their grip of addiction, breaking through the hearts of criminals or even successful businessmen...the list goes on. The power of this love that causes these things was demonstrated during the altar ministry because not one, not two, not a few, but about 30 people made the decision. That made me feel blessed that I know and have experienced such love over and over again. As Pastor Matt Fielder reminded us, "Christianity isn't a religion; it's a relationship between God and man." How wonderful it is to have a personal relationship with the great and mighty God!

3. Casting Crowns - Who am I

Who am I, that the Lord of all the Earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning star
Would choose the light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapour in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You watch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

I've been searching, questioning my faith, wondering whether my dryness for the past 8 months or so could be restored back to a heart to seek after, or even just to be more sensitive to God. The taste and feeling of God's love embracing and overwhelming the troubles and things that bother me was something that I have missed out in this time period. This week, God has taken this Holy Week to show me and remind me about Him once again, His greatness, His power, and also his humility to come just for me and everyone else. Tainted by sin, it's like buying a broken toy from the department store. He sees beyond my defects and finds value that's shrouded deep inside, something that only someone who really knew me well enough could find. Heck, even I can't fathom what God values in me, I just know that there's something that's great, and for that I believe, and I will persevere. That is my strengthening of faith for this week, and for now... Happy Easter to everyone, both Christians and non-Christians.

2. Maggi Mee - Excessive Na compounds inside

For those Bio intolerant people (i.e. AFP syndrome according to Felix), you may skip this brief intro on the properties of Sodium in the body:

Sodium plays a part in affecting your blood pressure. This is because sodium retains water, and the more water in your bloodstream (i.e. higher volume of water), the higher your blood pressure due to the osmotic pressure of water. High blood pressure caused by excess sodium can actually cause blood not to be filtered thoroughly of waste in the kidney, and the kidney has to overwork, and eventually causing kidney failure if the problem develops, and this also complicates high blood pressure. High blood pressure is a serious disease nowadays, probably due to the fact that there are no specific physical symptoms, so a person may be suffering from high blood pressure and not know about it. High blood pressure is defined as blood pressure above 140/90 mm Hg. FDA suggests that the daily intake of sodium should not exceed 2400mg.

So tonight I wasn't really feeling hungry, but yet I needed to eat something to fill my stomach, so I opened my side cupboard and fished out a packet of curry Maggi Mee. While waiting for the water to boil, I decided to check out the sodium content in the nutrition table. The result: 1870mg. (Beef flavour has 1780mg, Indo Mee 830mg). Anyway, that little packet of curry Maggi Mee provides 77.92% of your maximum daily sodium intake. Some of us take two packets because one isn't really filling. So that means you consume 155.8% of your maximum recommended daily intake from those two packets, considering you eat pure bland food for your breakfast / lunch / dinner. This concludes that, one, Maggi Mee will pwn your life if taken consistently. Two, Indo Mee is better than Maggi Mee (2 packets vs 1. Not filling? Drink pure water that you use if you make Maggi Mee soup). Probably there should be a campaign that helps raise awareness that Maggi Mee is comparable to cigarettes or something, but the support from the citizens won't be very promising...

1. A Small Beginning, Out Of Boredom

So today I decided to just spend some time and just make a few changes to this blog and in a way declare this blog less inactive. Well, as I posted this link to my friend who kindly asked for it when I told him I was moving to blogger, he kinda went like "Wth? Haemoglobin? Why?". Well, since "hengboon.blogspot.com" would be a little bland and I thought something else would be more "unique" so I went for haemoglobin. Well since my initials are HB and since Haemoglobin is also abbreviated to Hb, so I thought that it would be appropriate. Hence, thus the weird name

As I have already decided on that name, I was thinking that it would be good if I slowed down once in a while from my busy schedule and breathe. Uni life has been, and will be even more, hectic ever since it started. Although at the most of the stuff are quite familiar to me, but now there are some terms that I have never even heard of. Well, methaphorically speaking, if the body doesn't recieve enought oxygen while it's working at its capactity, lactic acid builds up in the muscle cells and the muscle feels the pain. So, in life, there's got to be some point of resting to deal with the excess pressure which can cause pain to your life.

Anyway, hopefully I do pick up the initiative to actually study since the 1st semseter is already halfway in session. Funny how time flies compared to primary / secondary school...